In this moment I feel the need to thank God for this gift. It is not just my profession which is being affected. I am finding connections to dreams from childhood (too personal to share here) and dreams for the future of my family. Some things which I long thought were lost to memory are returning full force.

Living a life of purpose and attention has opened a floodgate in me.

It is not easy. Some days I wonder and struggle at why I am doing this.

Today was such a day.

Now, as I sit in the silence of a sleeping house, I see that I am on the path that God has set for me. Every baby step I have taken to get on this path is full of uncertainty. But step out I must and step out I do.

The choices of life are given to us all. We make the decisions that lead us forwards or backwards. There is no standing still. Which way are you going?

The most important things in the world to me.

Bri and Con are the reason I do everything. My family: Doug, Bri and Con, mean more to me than anything else. The last day of spending time together and not thinking about the business has helped me refocus. I needed the distance.

Stepping back has helped me see that I am doing this as much for my family as I am for myself. It has helped me see that each step I take forward is the most important step, not the one after or five steps away. I just need to concentrate on that one step.

I need to sleep. I need to eat right. I need to be present for my kids. I need to be present in my marriage. I need to enjoy this! CFOZ is growing. Worrying about it does nothing. It will be what I want it to be as long as I continue to move forward one step at a time.

One step.

Laura and Mary powering through a WOD. You get a brief glimpse of the gym too!

Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.
–Pablo Picasso

So this post is to update those goals I set at the beginning of the year. So much changed just in the first three months, and since then I’ve been dealing with the snowball effect of those changes. I almost feel like a different person. When I originally wrote those goals I had no idea I would be opening my own affiliate. So here are some updated May/June goals that I recently wrote out for my MMFC group with Carey Kepler:

May:

Career:
Launch CrossFit O-Zone. (DONE, MAY 1 WAS OUR FIRST CLASS)
Find the perfect location for the gym. (DONE, BUILDOUT IS ALMOST COMPLETE)
Have 4 to 8 clients. (8 CLIENTS)
Revamp website and make sure I have the archives of the scaled WODs. (DONE)

Health:
GET and STAY hydrated, 1 gallon daily. (I’M GETTING ABOUT HALF A GALLON, BETTER THAN BEFORE, BUT NEEDS IMPROVEMENT)
90% Paleo eating, logged (IN MAY I WAS DOING GREAT, BUT I KIND OF FELL OFF THE WAGON FOR THE FIRST HALF OF JUNE. I LOST 5 LBS AND A COUPLE INCHES OFF MY WAIST AND HIPS. I AM AT 17% BF NOW, DOWN FROM 19%. I HAVE MAINTAINED, BUT I HAVEN’T CHANGED SINCE THE END OF MAY)
Begin training with a strength bias program (MY TRAINING PARTNER IS THE OWNER OF CF10, SHE IMPLEMENTED THE WENDLER STRENGTH BIAS, SO I HAVE BEEN DOING THAT TWO DAYS A WEEK. I FINALLY BROKE THROUGH A DEADLIFT PLATEAU I HAD BEEN STUCK AT FOR MORE THAN A YEAR, 15# PR! DUE TO A BACK INJURY, I AM STILL TRAINING WITH THEM, SO LETS SEE WHAT THIS MONTH BRINGS)
5 chin-over-bar butterfly kipping pull-ups (I AM UP TO SEVEN NOW ON A CONSISTENT BASIS)
Work on getting back on the Rx band wagon for metcons (I HAVE BEEN DOING MY OWN PROGRAMMING FOR THE BOOT CAMPS AND I HAVE BEEN SURPRISING MYSELF WITH DOING Rx. I AM CREDITING PALEO AND THE BETTER HYDRATION.)

Personal: (HERE IS WHERE I HAVE NOT BEEN DOING AS WELL)
Get the office/paperwork/still-packed boxes purged and filed (SOME ORGANIZING GOT DONE, BUT NOT MUCH)
Re-read Getting Things Done (I’VE STARTED IT, BUT HAVE SET IT ASSIDE TO STUDY FOR THE CF LEVEL I EXAM, WHICH I AM TAKING AUGUST 1. I HAVE A SLIGHT FORM OF DYSLEXIA, SO IT TAKES ME TIME TO STUDY.)
Blog weekly (NOT SO MUCH)
Complete some long overdue knitting projects (HA! THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN.)
Plant and grow a small vege garden. (PLANTED BACK IN MARCH, IT’S BEEN DOING WELL. WE WERE ALREADY ABLE TO EAT FROM IT, AND I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE HOW EVERYTHING COMES UP! I HAVE MUCH BIGGER PLANS FOR NEXT YEAR’S GARDEN)

I too had a MUCH longer list of goals for May, but quickly found that the business, training and family life are where I need to keep my focus. When I am eating right and drinking water, I can keep my focus on what I am doing. My own training is the hardest thing to stay consistent with. Sometimes I find myself at 9:30 PM and just starting my WOD. Training with my old gym for the strength bias has helped, but it just feels like the business is all I think about. I also have my two children with me while my husband is at work. He is home by 3:30, and takes them at that time, but I still want to give them the attention they need and deserve.

The month of June has been mostly about getting the gym ready, shopping and buying equipment (very fun!), choosing paint, layout, paperwork, signing forms, staying on top of the build-out, attaining permits. When I am not working on the gym I am giving as much of myself to the kids as I can. The only time of day I have for personal developement, besides my WOD, is late at night. I usually don’t go to bed until well past 11 PM. I am usually up at 5 AM, so lack of sleep is starting to affect me.

So here are the June/July goals:

Business:
Get my client base up to 12-15 clients. Currently I only offer one class, I have three people waiting for me to open up earlier hours.
Have all painting, flooring, pull-up bar installation, etc. done two weeks after the contractor turns over the property (it should be turned over Tue. or Wed. of next week.)
Study for Level I Exam, scheduled for August 1st.

Health:
Continue with Strength Bias cycle: Goals(current PR): deadlift, 245# (220#); shoulder press, 90# (75#); back squat, 195# (175#); bench press, 115# (95#).
30 Day Paleo Challenge. – You can read up on my new WOD and Food Log blog here.
1 gallon water daily!
5 consecutive full ROM ring dips (can only do singles)
1 HSPU with no Abmat under my head.

Personal:
Really make an effort to blog weekly.
Keep working on the garden.
Read “Think and Grow Rich”
Finish “Getting Things Done” I may need to get the audio version from the library and make it my driving book
Get in bed by 8:30 PM, even if I stay up a little later reading, studying, whatever. I just need to be in bed.
Try to pull together a new schedule for the family that takes into account the gym hours. Doug has a new job MUCH closer to home which helps. I also have a neighbor who is going to watch the kids sometimes, our daughters are best friends.

These goals were shared with the group in order to help keep each other accountable for accomplishing them. Please give me feedback! And hold my feet to the fire whenever you want.

I have dreams. Big ones. This is the vision of what my future holds. When I went out to Central, I was inspired by the coaches and athletes of that affiliate.

I’ve been on a roller coaster of a ride the last few months. Every morning I wake up energized and ready to jump into the fray. My days are a balancing act of mom, wife, coach, athlete, and affiliate owner. I wouldn’t have it any other way. In my eyes, my affiliate is already the heart of a strong community of athletes and families working and playing hard everyday. A community that will touch the lives of hundreds. That vision is firmly lodged in my mind. It permeates every action, every step, every breath.

It is my reality.

God, it feels like this is the first one I have had in so long. Two weeks into my new CrossFit affiliate‘s operation and I am up to seven clients. I am so grateful for this chance to be living my dream. Sitting in the stillness of 5 AM on a Sunday morning, feeling the quiet of the house and smelling the brewing of that first pot of beautiful dark joy that is coffee, I am just so GRATEFUL. So THANKFUL. So HAPPY. I feel like my skin fits me for the first time.

So much of people’s lives are spent dreaming and hoping and wishing. Too few spend it living. This is not a criticism. I am guilty of spending decades in that SIN. I too have spent too much wasted energy living out the expectations of others, being “the good daughter,” and trying to please those around me. Little by little, I have been able to strip away the facade of “success” to what my own dreams and goals are. Little by little, I have seen flashes of the path I WANT to be on and finally I feel like I am on it. Is it a yellow-brick road as Dorthy’s was? No, but then she found out the Emerald City wasn’t what she needed or wanted. It was always inside her. My path is a little chipped and worn and has plenty of discarded things strewn behind me. My path isn’t necessarily rut-free. But, you know what? It’s MY path, and “that has made all the difference.”

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim Because it was grassy and wanted wear, Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I marked the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. Robert Frost

Flow is a feeling I get when everything is working right. When I feel grounded in the moment. I both know what is going to happen and treasure the feeling of the now unfolding before me.

It’s a feeling that I felt camping out in Austin with the incredible group of women I met last week. There was an energy there…it’s hard to describe. So many strong women with dreams and hopes, taking action to take their lives to the next level. I feel like I came away with more than just a trip and a much needed vacation. That feel has helped carry me through this last hectic week.

CrossFit O-Zone held our first class at the park on Saturday. Finally getting to say “3, 2, 1…GO!” and knowing it was for my own affiliate was a huge rush! The WOD went great and my old affiliate, CrossFit 10, came down to support it. I had four women come over to ask what we were doing, and two of them came and tried their first WOD on Monday.

It just felt so good to finally be training again. I still have a lot to learn, despite over two years of coaching. I have been immersing myself in getting the business set up, but I love the way being a trainer makes you think and experiment and looks for resources to make you the best coach for your client. Well, at least that’s how I see coaching.

I’ve been learning to channel anxiety and nervous energy into excitement and action. Doing this has been essential to keeping me present and focused. In the past I have let those types of feeling overwhelm me and freeze me into doing nothing. Anyone who knows me knows that I can worry at things like a dog does a bone. Finding my flow and keeping focus on that has made all this possible.

Blogging is definitely going to continue being sporadic. I am hunting for a location and that doesn’t leave a lot of time for anything but work right now.

I am still flabbergasted and so, so grateful for the craziness of the last couple of months.

This will mark the first time I have EVER been away from my children overnight. When I realized I was going to have to go alone I was a bit crest-fallen, but Doug and I know that this is an opportunity I cannot pass up. The rest of this week will be spent getting ready for the trip, finalizing the last details on CrossFit O-Zone and getting all the equipment set up for the Boot Camp. I miss coaching so much! Two more weeks until we are in business!

I’ve been to the library to check out some audio books so any time alone can be spent schooling my mind.

Dreams come true. Reach for them and you will achieve them. I’m reaching for mine.